An alarming statistic tells us that at least fifty percent of the marriages in the U.S. are destined to end in divorce. It is little wonder that many folks are looking for advice on how to save a marriage. Divorce is never pretty; in fact, going through a divorce can be a painful, heart-wrenching, and expensive ordeal that can alter or even shatter lives forever. If children are involved, the fallout from a divorce can leave deep emotional scars that may never heal.

If you believe that your marriage may be near its breaking point and you fear that divorce is waiting around the corner, it is time for you to consider your options for turning things around in a more positive direction. Waiting for your partner to make a change or take positive action may mean waiting too late to save your marriage. Thankfully, often one partner working on the problem is enough to save a marriage that looks, from most perspectives, to be a lost cause.

The four tips that follow may seem insignificant at first glance, but they are proven to help save marriages.

• Make a conscious effort to avoid criticizing your spouse and steer clear of complaining about your marriage. If you are willing to do this, it will benefit not only you but your spouse as well. It is definitely easier to say than to do, but criticism and continual griping will only increase the negativity between the two of you, and if you’re looking to save your marriage, this is the last thing that you want. If you find yourself saying negative things or being critical of your marriage of your spouse, stop and think. Monitor your thoughts and choose your words wisely. Once a word is spoken, it is hard to take it back. Once you begin to monitor your own negativity, you will probably notice a big change in your relationship, and you will also be shocked by how often you engage in destructive or negative thoughts and actions. Think of it like this. Would you wish to be in a marriage with someone who complains, nags, and criticizes continually? Turn this behavioral pattern around and you may find your spouse starting to warm up to you and your marriage.
• Focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship between you and your spouse will also help you to save your marriage. This will be a difficult feat at first, especially if things between you are going badly. But remember that your relationship has not always been this way, has it? If you believe the marriage to be worth saving, chances are that it is. When you first became involved with your spouse, chances are good that there were many things that drew you to this person – things that you loved about them and about being with them. Draw up a list of the positive things that you have experienced with your partner, and keep this inspiration list somewhere that you can refer back to it during times of doubt or trouble. Focusing on the positive will help to keep the negative at bay.
• We all love to be praised, and your spouse is no different, although we tend to withhold praise and compliments to our significant others for some mysterious reason. The truth is, however, praising and complimenting your partner can help you to save your marriage. Everyone has a deep, inert and ethereal desire and need to feel valued and appreciated. It is often during times of marital crisis and issues within the marriage that we overlook the appreciation that we feel towards our spouses. It is important to lavish support, caring, praise, and compliments on your spouse, even if you must really dig deep inside in order to find it. Do not take it to the extreme, gushing or going overboard; this will cause your efforts to come across as disingenuous. But sincere, from-the-heart praise and appreciation will be a powerful weapon in your fight to save your marriage and avoid separation or divorce.
• And finally, avoid pressuring your partner. Have patience in your marriage, and gently let your partner know that you are willing to do whatever is required to make the marriage a success. Be clear with your spouse that saving your marriage is your number one priority, and that you are willing to talk through your marital issues and work things out. If you are no longer communicating with your partner, let them know that when they get ready to talk, you are ready to listen.

While it is true that there are many, many books written that give all types of advice and suggestions on saving your marriage, these simple steps are a great start. Showing your partner that you have made a commitment to making the marriage work and that you are further committed to making any changes that are needed will be a great catalyst in building a strong, nurturing and fulfilling marriage.

Filed under: Marriage Relationship

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