An old business saying holds that if you are in business and not making any mistakes, you’re not doing something right. The same holds true for marriage; if you have no marriage issues, you are among the few and far between. Marital crisis are common, but how you as an individual or the two of you together as a couple respond to and handle a crisis in your marriage is a good determinant of whether the marriage will stand the test of time.

There are many factors and causes of marital issues and marriage crisis. Oftentimes a lack of communication or a general lack of common interests can interfere with a couple’s blissful harmony. Other times, interference from one or the other’s career, outside interests, financial strife, indifference, or even infidelity in the marriage can end in crisis. These marriage issues are the most common. You and your mate may have a host of other things to fight about in the marriage, as each couple is unique.

Whatever marriage issues are facing your marital relationship, you may be fearful that the problems can lead to separation or even divorce. For the couple that is facing more than one issue in the marriage, the outcome is oftentimes bleak.

Communication
If you have stopped communicating with your partner, marriage issues are sure to follow. You must be able to communicate on some level or your relationship will be in a rut with nowhere to go but downhill. Couples that do not share common dreams, desires, interests, activities, and goals may not be altogether well-suited for one another.

And in today’s era of ‘no fault’ divorce, a marriage can be shattered for much less than just the lack of good communication.

Fifty years ago, a common complaint among the philandering male was that his wife didn’t ‘understand’ him. But how could she be expected to understand him when he never gave her a chance, rarely speaking to her about anything?

In modern times, there is absolutely no reason that a couple should not be able to communicate. Cell phones, PDAs, iPads, and other devices keep us ‘wired’ almost 24/7! Communicating has never been easier, has it? Married couples must make the effort to share their lives and their thoughts with their significant others. To avoid possible marriage issues, couples must plan for things – whether it’s a vacation or a renovation or dinner plans for Saturday night, hanging out together is essential to staying connected and nurturing a close-knit marriage.

Common Interests

Many couples have an obvious common interest – their children. But other than having children together, couples who share common interests, like sports, hobbies, or other activities tend to be closer than couples that do not.

But a crisis in the marriage can arise when the man (or woman) hangs out with friends to watch sports while the other partner is involved with rearing the children and so on. The couple may be together only at night when they fall tiredly into bed.

Couples tend to have their own groups of friends and their own careers. But there was some attraction that drew them together and that caused them to want to be together in the marriage. Sadly, if the physical attraction that began the relationship is all that you and your spouse have together, you are in for a real wake-up call when you find yourself indifferent on everything from television programming to where you want your children to go to college.

Many times a couple’s career paths will lead them in directions that are totally opposite from one another. This can cause marriage issues for even the strongest marriages. By being certain to participate in mutual activities every week, this problem in the marriage can be averted.

Marital Infidelity

Picture it. A man heads out to his nine-to-five job in the morning, kissing his wife on the check; her hair is in rollers and she wears a tattered old bathrobe as she scurries about readying herself for her own day. At his office, all of the women are dressed to the hilt and he sees them in only their best light, not with their hair all mussed up in a holey robe. The man goes for a few drinks after work, purportedly on business, and the temptation to be with these well-groomed women is strong.

While an intelligent person will avoid emotional entanglements at their place of employment or elsewhere, many do not. Focusing on the home, family, and spouse can help both men and women to stay on the right track and avoid dangerous and painful marital fidelity. To avoid marriage issues, both spouses should attempt to spend quality time with one another when they are groomed and looking their best.

Indifference

Many married people cite indifference to their partner as a huge marriage issue that is bogging down their relationship. Sometimes this is actual indifference, and sometimes it is imagined; in either event, the marital crisis that ensues can be all too real.

Indifference is a close cousin to lack of communication, infidelity in the marriage, and a general lack of common interests that tie a couple together and make them closer.

Nurturing intimacy with your spouse, working on your relationship, and keeping the lines of communication open are all cures for indifference.

Filed under: Marital Problems • Marriage Relationship

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